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Overview
The Navy SEALS are trained to endure torture. They’re deprived of sleep for days on end and kept awake by the shrill sounds of a baby crying. If this situation sounds familiar, then you may be a new parent. Luckily, there’s something you can do about it: learn five simple techniques that will help your baby calm down.
You’ll also learn why babies enjoy being shushed; how premature birth is related to intelligence in adults; and the reason that bouncing a baby makes it happy.
Big Idea #1: Babies cry because they’re brought into the world before they’re ready.
When a horse is born, it can run. In contrast, human babies are not as mobile at birth. They cannot sit up by themselves and they need help burping after feeding.
Babies are born before they’re ready to be outside of the womb because their heads are too big. This is a result of human survival needing large brains, and if babies stayed in the womb any longer than 9 months, their heads would grow so big that they’d get stuck during birth.
Because babies are born early, they have to rely on their parents for constant care and attention. Crying is a baby’s way of getting that attention when it needs help with something like hunger or being cold.
Crying is a natural part of life, and parents shouldn’t worry about spoiling their baby by responding to every cry. It’s not possible to spoil something in its first months of life. Crying babies are often just hungry or need love from their parents. Most colicky babies cry excessively because they were born too early; only 10% have physical ailments that cause them pain, while the rest exhibit colicky symptoms because they missed the fourth trimester in the womb. Therefore, as your child follows its instincts and starts crying, let your own instincts guide you and show your child love when it needs it. Soon enough, though sometimes you’ll need some tricks up your sleeve to calm down a fussy baby—we’ll explore those next!
Big Idea #2: Babies have a special calming reflex, and there’s an art to triggering it.
You know that reflex where you tap your knee and kick your leg? That’s not going to help calm a baby. But there is another, more reliable calming reflex for babies. It’ll soothe even the crankiest of them.
Newborn babies have a reflex that calms them down. This is important because the womb is very small, and if they move around too much, there’s a chance they’ll get stuck in an uncomfortable position or even hurt themselves.
The good news is that a calming reflex persists after birth. But to trigger it, you have to do more than simply take your baby’s knee in your hand and tap it. In fact, there are five strategies for triggering the calming reflex, which we’ll explore below. These can be tricky to master, but they’re worth practicing because babies respond well when their parents use them. The more familiar both of you become with these techniques, the better able your baby will be to calm down quickly and easily whenever he or she needs to do so.
So let’s get started with the five “S”s of swaddling and side position.
Big Idea #3: Swaddle your baby and keep it lying on its side to trigger the calming reflex.
Swaddling your baby is a way to calm it down. It’s done by wrapping the baby up tightly, which simulates the pressure of being in the womb. This feeling will make them feel safe and relaxed, so they’ll be more responsive to other triggers that calm them down. However, many parents worry about swaddling their babies because they think it might be too constricting for them. In fact, research shows that SIDS risk is reduced if you wrap your baby correctly (and don’t do anything else unsafe). Babies tend to move around a lot when they’re upset; this can actually make them even more upset than before. Swaddling helps keep babies from moving around as much and makes it easier for them to relax again after crying or getting upset about something.
