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1-Page Summary of The Divided Self

Overview

Imagine you were trapped in your own body, unable to move or sense anything. You had no control over what you did and it felt like a stranger was taking over your actions. That’s the situation that influential psychologist R. D. Laing witnessed in some of his patients and he came up with ideas about mental illness as a result of his observations. His key points explain why some people seem to think they can’t lift a piece of paper; why some people think they’re in danger of being absorbed by others; and why some people don’t even care if their physical bodies are harmed.

Big Idea #1: Most of us perceive our distinct personalities in early childhood, leading to a safe sense of self.

I’m not sure if I know myself, as my sense of identity developed over time. Did I always have a sense of identity? No, it’s something that was built up over the years. It wasn’t until babies were born and they started experiencing life that they discovered their own identities. They didn’t realize this until much later in life when they encountered others and realized that each person has their own experiences.

Babies are not aware that other people are distinct beings with their own consciousness. They also don’t know they can be seen or perceived by others, and it takes some time for them to develop a stable sense of identity. This happens as children interact with their parents or guardians.

Parents typically respond to their children’s needs. For example, if a baby cries when he is hungry, his parents will feed him. Over time, the child realizes that certain behaviors elicit specific reactions from others. He also comes to realize that he is separate from those around him and that they are aware of him.

When children are born, they’re already aware of themselves and their surroundings. Parents treat them as if they’re self-aware even though they don’t yet have that sense of consciousness. This influences the child’s development into a person with a personality.

Not all children develop the same way.

Big Idea #2: If a child is “too good,” it’s possible that she has an emerging psychological problem.

Parents may wish their children were perfect, but the truth is that they need help.

Babies who don’t express their needs are prone to develop a weak sense of self. They may simply lack the instinct to cry when they’re hungry, or they might not be able to get their parents’ attention. Parents of future schizophrenics ignore these cries and leave them helpless and confused.

If children don’t express themselves, they miss out on interactions that help them build their sense of self. Moreover, overly obedient or honest children might be showing signs of a personality disorder.

If a child never lies, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he has high moral standards. Rather, this may be because the child is too honest to lie or lacks the initiative and awareness to do so.

Unfortunately, a child that’s too good may never feel secure and confident.

Big Idea #3: Some people are fundamentally unsure of themselves; they need other people to feel real.

Most people are afraid that they aren’t good enough in some aspect of their lives. Maybe they’re not attractive, or maybe they don’t have a lot of friends. On the other hand, someone who is fundamentally insecure fears something else entirely.

Some people are unsure about their own personality and can’t say that they’re real, whole, and alive. This is something the author calls ontological insecurity, which causes many of those who suffer from it to become schizophrenic.

Schizophrenia is a mental disorder that causes people to have trouble distinguishing the difference between reality and fantasy. One such person, who was diagnosed with schizophrenia, would sometimes refer to herself in the third person as if she were someone else. She felt like she wasn’t real but rather some sort of ghost or spirit from a weed garden. The way one can feel more real is by interacting with other human beings because we often regard others as being real regardless of how they feel about themselves.