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1-Page Summary of The Art of Communicating

Overview

This book is about finding inner peace, joy and strength through Buddhist teachings. It also draws on the latest nutritional science research to explain how to eat and exercise properly in order to lose weight sustainably. The book presents a holistic method for improving physical, psychological and spiritual well-being by transforming lives.

Do you ever wonder what could be the biggest problem in any of your relationships? It’s likely that it’s unhealthy communication.

Thich Nhat Hanh explains what communication is and how it works. He argues that in order to communicate with others, you need to have a good understanding of yourself. However, most people don’t really understand themselves and therefore they’re bad at communicating with other people.

The following key points will help you understand the people around you, and how to start your work day off right.

Big Idea #1: There are two kinds of speech: nourishing and toxic.

Communication is essential in life. It’s like food, because it nourishes us and poisons us if we’re not careful with what we say. For example, if someone is waiting for feedback about a project from their boss and the boss says something negative, that would be toxic speech.

If a person says, “I think there are some things we could improve here,” it would be helpful.

So, how can you become a better speaker? First, you need to understand your own way of communicating. You have to be mindful when communicating with others so that you don’t judge them as harshly. When talking with someone else, you should focus on the present moment and not worry about what they’re saying back to you because it’s just going to distract from the conversation. Additionally, mindfulness is important for being able to communicate clearly without distraction or judgment.

To have healthy conversations, you need to be aware of what’s going on around you.

Big Idea #2: To communicate effectively with others, you need to be aware of your own feelings and manage them appropriately.

You probably communicate with others throughout the day. However, how much time do you spend communicating with yourself? Probably not very much.

You communicate with yourself when you listen to your own mind and body. It can be as simple as sitting down and concentrating on your breathing. When you do this, you’ll be able to focus completely on the moment, not the past or future. You will get in touch with what’s wrong in your mind or body so that you can solve it more easily.

When you learn to communicate with yourself, it will make communicating with others easier and more productive.

For example, imagine a person who is unhappy and unable to improve her state. She’s suffering because of problems in her relationship, but she doesn’t know what exactly is wrong with it.

She needs to be more mindful of her feelings. If she realizes that the reason she’s upset is because her partner doesn’t help around the house, then she’ll understand why he’s so exhausted when he gets home from work.

Mindfulness will help her to understand him better. She’ll be able to communicate with him in a loving and nourishing way. The author says that we can’t communicate effectively with others until we get in touch with ourselves first.

Big Idea #3: The author believes that listening to others’ pain helps them feel better.

We sometimes don’t fully understand the people we’re close to. This is often because we don’t listen to them.

Sometimes we’re just not paying attention to our partners. For instance, if your spouse is talking about a serious problem in your relationship, you might be thinking about something else like cleaning the pool or paying the electricity bill.