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1-Page Summary of Stop Walking On Eggshells

Overview

Stop Walking on Eggshells is a book that helps loved ones of people with borderline personality disorder. It was originally published in 1998 and has sold more than half a million copies.

It is estimated that between 2% and 6% of Americans have BPD. That’s up to 20 million people who suffer from the disorder, with many more loved ones affected. Although many mental health professionals do not treat BPD effectively, there are some who disagree with the diagnosis entirely. It is often up to families and partners of people who may have BPD to identify the characteristic traits of the disorder.

People with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) experience severe instability of mood, relationships, and identity. They constantly fear abandonment, lash out easily at others, and are impulsive. When they feel rejected by someone they love or something that is important to them, they may make false accusations against those people.

People who have friends or family with BPD often feel that they are walking on eggshells. The person might be fine at work but become symptomatic at home, which can make it hard for others to pinpoint the problem.

If you think a family member or friend has borderline personality disorder, it’s important to find a therapist who can diagnose the problem and work with them on recovery. You also need to make changes in your own life so you can better cope with the loved one’s disorder. For example, don’t blame yourself when they self-harm and set limits around what type of behavior you will tolerate from them.

Some people with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) hurt themselves as a way to cope with emotional pain. They might cut or burn themselves because they feel like it makes them alive, relieves anxiety, or gives them control. It is important for friends and relatives not to let the person manipulate you into letting them do this behavior.

In order to protect children from the effects of a parent with BPD, they should be told that their parent is sick. The non-BPD parent should explain that it’s not their fault and shouldn’t take any blame for what happened. Recovery for people with BPD as well as those around them is possible if both parties are willing to work towards it.

Key Point 1: Borderline personality disorder is poorly understood and often misdiagnosed.

Some professionals are against the idea of BPD being a disorder. They feel that it’s an umbrella term for people who can’t be diagnosed; some say that clinicians use it as an excuse to not diagnose patients, or because they don’t know how to deal with them. As a result, many people with this disorder go undiagnosed.

While some psychologists believe that patients with borderline personality disorder never recover, research has shown that this is not the case. One study published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology examined how many people exhibited signs of BPD over 10 years and found that only 7 percent did after those 10 years. Another study by psychologist Timothy Trull shows that traits of BPD decrease in young adults after 2 years.

Key Point 2: BPD is characterized by severe mood swings, unstable interpersonal relations, a pervasive sense of emptiness, and impulsivity, among other symptoms.

Borderline personality disorder is characterized by unstable relationships and a sense of self. This instability stems from the fear of abandonment, as well as the feeling that one has no identity. Borderline people desperately need others in order to feel like they have an identity, which is why they may lash out or beg for attention when rejected. Borderline behavior can also be characterized by impulsive behaviors like substance abuse, shoplifting, or binge eating; and self-harm including cutting, burning and head banging.