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1-Page Summary of Say Nothing

Overview

A novel by J. is about a boat trip he takes with two friends up the Thames River. The narrator’s prose is rambling, and often digresses into anecdotes or long observational passages.

One night, three men who are hypochondriacs discuss their anxiety about getting sick. They decide to take a vacation as they feel it will be good for their health. After some deliberation, they decide to spend a week rowing up the Thames with their dog Montmorency.

The men decide to go on a boating trip. They bring a lot of things that they think they’ll need, but quickly realize that only the essentials are required for their trip. However, even though these two men are friends and have known each other for quite some time, one of them seems to dislike the other man and compares him negatively with his incompetent uncle Podger. The group ends up bringing food, clothing, a cover for their boat as well as cooking equipment such as a methylated spirit stove.

The men woke up late in the morning and had trouble figuring out which train to catch. They eventually made it, though, and began their journey. J described some local landmarks like Hampton Court and some pubs that Queen Elizabeth dined in. Harris told a story about getting lost in the hedge maze at Hampton Court.

The men pass through the first lock, which is a gate that regulates traffic and water levels. J. comments on how irritating it is when women wear delicate clothes in situations where they might get wet or dirty. George separates from the group to do some work for his employer in Shepperton while Harris proposes visiting a cemetery to see an interesting tombstone, but J rejects this idea because he finds cemeteries depressing.

While traveling, J. and Harris stop to eat on the bank of a river. They are confronted by a man who accuses them of trespassing and demands money from them. Because Harris is bigger than the other man, he intimidates him and they continue their journey without paying him off. The author warns readers not to be deceived by these men because they usually don’t work for the landowner that they claim to represent but instead try to extort money from travelers.

He then talks about the time he and Harris went to a party where they made fools of themselves. He says that Harris sang a song, while he pretended to speak German. He tells us about some more places around Shepperton, including the Old Swan pub and St Mary’s Church. The next day, they go for a walk on the towpath before lunching in their boat. Later that afternoon, J falls into the water and Harris fails at making scrambled eggs for them all. As they pass by Magna Charta Island, J describes how it would have been like being one of those peasants who signed Magna Carta back in 1215 AD

When the men pass through Datchet, they remember when they had to sleep at a local’s house. They reminisce about that night and laugh about it.

The next day, they pass more historical landmarks. They are running out of drinking water and decide to drink from the river. Harris falls off a gulch while trying to eat his supper.

The following evening, they cook Irish stew and George plays the banjo. However, he is a beginner and his music is so awful that Harris and J. persuade him not to play for the rest of the trip. The next day, George and J. go drinking in Henley but get lost on their way back to the boat because a flock of aggressive swans attacked them.

The author describes some mishaps that happened to him and his friend George when they first learned how to row. They pass through Reading without any problems, although the author does offer a brief history of the town. As they approach Goring, they discover a woman’s body floating in the water.