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Video Summaries of Nonviolent Communication

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1-Page Summary of Nonviolent Communication

Overview

The next time you’re angry, take a breath and ask yourself why you’re angry. Instead of asking who’s angering you, try to figure out the source of your anger. Once you realize that it’s your reaction making you mad instead of other people, then it becomes easier for you to regain control over the situation.

We communicate with many people during the course of a regular day. We talk to our loved ones, colleagues and so on. However, we often end up having irrational conflicts that leave us feeling overlooked or in despair.

These are not the best ways to communicate with people. They don’t have to be this way, and we can avoid these situations by learning about Nonviolent Communication.

In this article, you will learn how to react when someone says that you are the most selfish person they have ever met. You should separate your observations from your evaluations and not blame your partner for leaving dirty socks around the house.

Big Idea #1: When you are communicating with someone, it’s important to be compassionate and understanding.

Communication is critical to society. If we want to function well in our society, we need to learn how to communicate effectively with others.

Unfortunately, we tend to use language that cuts the flow of communication and even harms us. For example, when you call someone selfish for something they did, it makes them defensive instead of open to your point. Alternatively, if you ask them why they did what they did in a simple way, then everyone can work on finding a solution together.

Furthermore, this kind of language makes us less compassionate and more violent. This has been studied by O.J. Harvey, a professor of psychology at the University of Colorado who studied literature to find words that judged people like “good” and “bad”.

The study found that countries with more judgemental words in their literature have a higher number of violent incidents. This is because people who are labelled as “good” or “bad” will be punished, which can contribute to violence.

However, there are more ways to alienate people with communication. One such way is through moral judgments.

When you label someone as being “wrong” or a bad person, you’re making moralistic judgments.

A daughter wants to move out of her parents’ house, but they think she isn’t ready and will put herself in danger. They don’t express their feelings very well and call her “selfish” instead of understanding where she’s coming from. Instead of calling her that, they could figure out what is really bothering them—they might be worried about how much they’ll miss their daughter if she moves out. If so, a compassionate discussion can bridge their differences rather than alienating each other.

This is just the beginning. The next few points will show you how to start communicating with compassion.

Big Idea #2: Nonviolent Communication is a way to communicate kindly.

Expressing emotions is a complicated process. Fortunately, there’s a simple way to do it: Nonviolent Communication (NVC). NVC allows us to connect with others and ourselves from the heart. The term nonviolence was inspired by Mahatma Gandhi, who led India’s independence movement. He used nonviolent communication as a powerful means of connecting with his followers and making them feel at peace.

Communication is defined as the way we use language to relate with others. Nonviolent communication focuses on relationships, and how we listen to one another.

I want to be a great communicator. That’s why I follow the four steps outlined in Nonviolent Communication, which are Observe objectively and say how you feel respectfully, identify your needs, and communicate compassionately. This approach helps me stay calm when dealing with difficult problems. For instance, my son is often messy around the house because he leaves his toys out on the floor for too long. So before I yell at him to clean up after himself every time this happens (as his mother), I try to use “clean up” as an opportunity to help him see what causes these messes so we can fix them together next time instead of just getting mad all the time.