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1-Page Summary of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
Overall Summary
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed (2019) is a nonfiction book by American writer and psychotherapist, Lori Gottlieb. It has become one of the New York Times bestsellers. The work combines memoir with popular science to reveal how therapy can change your life. This guide refers to the e-book of the first American edition published in 2019 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
The story begins with Lori breaking up with her boyfriend of five years. He decides that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore and just wants to enjoy life without having a child around. This causes Lori to seek therapy, as she is dealing with the betrayal from Boyfriend. Her colleague recommends Wendell Bronson, who is an experienced therapist but has a unique approach when it comes to helping people deal with their problems.
When Lori, a psychologist, is examining her own progress in therapy with Wendell (her therapist), she relates the stories of several of her patients. One patient was John, who was 40 years old and a TV writer. He had been having trouble in his marriage because he worked too much and didn’t spend enough time with his wife or son. When they talked about that during their sessions together, it became clear that John felt guilty for not being there when his son died in a car accident at the age of 10. However, after talking to him more extensively about what happened at that time in his life (when he lost both parents) and how it affected him afterward as an adult (feeling responsible for everything bad around him), they were able to talk about those feelings openly without feeling so overwhelmed by them anymore. They started spending more quality time together as husband and wife again, which made them both happier people overall.
Rita is depressed and feels like her life has been meaningless. She’s a victim of spousal abuse, she ignores the suffering of her children, and they refuse to speak with her. Rita is an artist, but she sabotages herself by avoiding romantic relationships until now when she starts one with Myron after a long period of self-sabotage. Lori helps Rita find meaning in life through art therapy while also relieving some guilt from past mistakes by focusing on what life still has to offer.
Julie is a young woman who recently got married. She has cancer and is dying. Lori helps her deal with the sadness of death by being there for her as a therapist and friend. Julie writes an obituary about herself, which she reads at her own funeral party that Lori helped plan.
Charlotte is a 20-year old woman who has struggled with alcohol abuse and self-destructive relationships. She attaches herself to people who are not good for her, which makes it difficult for her to deal with life’s problems. Lori helps Charlotte understand how she can break this pattern of destructive behavior in order to move forward in a healthier way.
The author guides the main character to an understanding of her sadness and fears. The author’s own experiences inform her work with patients, making her a more empathetic figure. By the end of the book, Lori understands that concluding therapy is not an ending; it’s only a pause in life. Therapy will always be there as an option for people who want help coping with demands of life.
Introduction: “Author’s Note”
The author introduces the main intention of her book, to show how we change in relation to others. She explains that she has changed some details and names for confidentiality reasons. The point of her book is “to reveal our shared humanity so that we can see ourselves more clearly”.
