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Overview

In movies and novels, we see this image of a happy marriage where two people fall in love at first sight. They get married, buy a house together, have kids and live happily ever after. In reality though, many marriages start to crack when the first problems arise.

Divorce is not the easy solution it sometimes appears to be. The underlying problems in a marriage need to be addressed, but this can happen only if there’s love in the relationship. Love isn’t perfect and a marriage doesn’t always live up to what movies tell us about it. Working through issues is as much a part of marriage as the honeymoon phase.

Fortunately, there are some strategies that you can use to make your relationship better. One of them is to be more positive in your actions toward each other; another is to do something surprising for your partner; and the last one is not to let infidelity ruin everything.

Big Idea #1: Divorce might seem like an “easy” solution, but it isn’t an answer to deep-seated emotional pain.

People throw away old products too quickly. They don’t think about the consequences of that action, and it’s a bad habit when you consider marriage. It’s not an easy option to divorce your spouse; there are serious repercussions for doing so.

When people tell their friends that they’re having a tough time in their marriage, they often want to hear that it’s not worth sticking around. But your spouse isn’t like an investment you can dump when the price goes down. You have a deep bond with them based on love even if only for a certain period of time.

Divorce is a difficult process for many people. It can be emotionally draining and cause practical problems, such as having to work more hours to support the family. However, there are ways to cope with it by taking care of yourself. One way is by finding time on your own so you don’t feel overwhelmed and drained.

Most people who get a divorce think it will solve their problems. However, the same issues that caused the divorce keep happening in other relationships. For example, Michael thought he would be happy after his divorce because he met another woman and fell in love with her.

He thought that getting married would solve all his problems. However, a few months into the marriage he realized that it wasn’t as easy as he had anticipated. His new wife’s ex-husband was still around and she spent more time with him than Michael. He also couldn’t assert himself in the family dynamic and got divorced shortly after they were married.

So if divorce isn’t the best option, what should you do when your marriage is having problems?

Big Idea #2: The best way of getting through tough times is to focus on the positive and try to be more loving.

When you’re in a bad situation, it’s easy to get stuck in your own negativity. However, the only way out is to focus on the positive and not be sad or negative about your current situation.

The first step is to recognize that you’re responsible for your own responses. If you’re constantly thinking about everything that’s going wrong in the relationship and letting it upset you, things will get worse. Keep the positives in mind, however, and you’ll be well on your way to turning the situation around.

The author’s client, Wendy, was frustrated with her husband because he’d been out of work for some time. However, she learned to focus on the positives. She didn’t talk about how much money they were saving by not paying for cable TV anymore or that they were spending more time together without a TV in the house. Instead, she focused on their improved communication and how it had helped them become closer as a couple.