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Overview

We’ve all been there in a restaurant when we hear a child screaming. No matter what the parents do, the kid continues to scream. Eventually, even the parents start to yell at their kid and demand that they be quiet. You think “I’m glad that’s not my child.”

But how can you avoid making the same mistakes? To avoid that situation, you need to learn techniques for communicating with kids and teenagers. The following key points will show you how to communicate effectively with them. With the right skills, family life can be more enjoyable.

In this article, you’ll find out that it’s not a good idea to punish your child. You’ll also learn why praising children for things they haven’t done is bad and how tying shoelaces for them isn’t the best idea either.

Big Idea #1: The only way to get through to a child and change their behavior is to acknowledge their feelings.

Imagine this: you’re shopping for groceries with your five-year-old. He suddenly starts screaming that he’s hungry and wants food now. What do you do? Many people would yell at him or snap at him to be quiet, but that will only make things worse.

Instead of blaming the child, how can you make things better for him?

A lot of the time, children don’t listen to their parents because they feel like their feelings aren’t being acknowledged. Therefore, if we want our children to listen to us, we need to acknowledge how they feel when communicating with them.

When parents demand their child be quiet in the supermarket, they are not taking into account that the child may have a reason for his outburst. The parent is overlooking the fact that he or she has ignored him and thus left him feeling frustrated.

The only way to get through to him is by addressing his feelings. You can start with a simple acknowledgement of how he feels or grant him what he wants in fantasy.

When you’re dealing with a man who’s upset, don’t lie to him. Don’t try to make him feel better if you aren’t sure what his feelings are. He’ll know that you’re lying and will be even more upset because of it.

But what if you try the tactics above and they don’t work? What can you do about it?

Big Idea #2: Control your anger and learn a few key communication skills to convince your child.

When you’re angry, your child won’t listen to what you say. Instead, they’ll become more angry themselves and respond in kind.

So, what should you do when your child misbehaves? It’s important to remember that children are people too. They have feelings and think differently than adults. Therefore, it’s crucial to respect them and understand their perspective.

Let’s imagine a situation where you have to deal with your child who is throwing a tantrum and demanding they stay up past their bedtime.

First, explain the issue to your child. Explain it without pointing fingers or blaming her for the problem. For example, say, “When you stay up late at night and sleep in in the morning, you’re tired during the day.”

Then, she can offer some information as to why this behavior might not be helping her. She could say “When you’re tired, it’s hard to concentrate at school.”

Explaining these points helps children to figure out for themselves what needs to be done. With this information, you can give your kids the power to find out for themselves what is good for them. By communicating this way, you’ll usually find your child ready to listen without any need for either party to blow a fuse. However, if you think that punishing her is the only way she will listen, then consider other ways of getting her attention without blowing up at her or making her feel bad about herself.