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1-Page Summary of Give and Take
Overview
Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success (2013) by Adam Grant is a psychological study that follows the author’s 10-year investigation into social reciprocity. He uses case studies, historical and personal narrative, statistics, and empirical research to support his findings.
You can categorize workers into three groups. The first group gives more than it receives and does so without expecting anything in return. This is the category of givers. The second group prefers to receive more than they give, but only if there’s an equal exchange for their efforts. These are called takers. The third and final category gives freely with the intention of receiving something of equal value in return, yet never expects anything from others or demands compensation for their work (this is a rare breed).
The common mindset is that takers gain the most from relationships. They extract as much value from their relationship with someone else, thinking only of themselves and not caring about anything else. This assumption is based on a zero-sum model.
There are three types of people: givers, takers, and matchers. All can experience success in life, but givers create more winners than anyone else because they win-win situations (where both parties benefit). They consider the needs of others while also considering their own. This nurtures goodwill and creates relationships with ongoing value that continue to yield dividends over time for all parties involved.
Western cultures have historically considered it a strength to be independent, whereas interdependence is viewed as a weakness. However, people can work collaboratively and still achieve success in their professional worlds. Takers and matchers can modify their reciprocity styles to become more giving. This will lead to increased morale, productivity, and professional success for all involved parties.
Key Point 1: Professional relationships can be characterized as one of three types of exchange: giving, taking, and matching.
The way people interact in their personal relationships is different from the way they interact in their professional relationships. Most people are givers in their personal and family lives, but when it comes to business, they’re more inclined to be takers. There are three types of reciprocity styles that determine the quality and longevity of a relationship: giver, matcher, or taker.
Some research suggests that there is no such thing as a true giver or selfless act. According to the study, people who give are not doing it just for the sake of giving but also because they enjoy giving and believe that their acts will be rewarded in some way. In professional relationships, this becomes more evident. People might think they’re giving something without any expectation of anything in return, but whether their motivation is to look good in front of peers, feel good within themselves, or elevate their social status, it’s hard to know what makes them do what they do.
For example, if a man offers to buy drinks for another attendee at an event such as a dinner or cocktail party, it’s clear that he expects the other person to return the favor and talk with him. This conversation could lead to future interactions between them. The trust and intimacy they have gained from this interaction may influence them both in the future.
Key Point 2: Givers, takers, and matchers each form different types of professional networks.
Extracting value from business relationships without giving back is a bad idea. It will damage your reputation and make it harder to forge new business connections in the future. On the other hand, if you give freely within your network, people will see you as generous and helpful, which can create opportunities for more work or referrals to others who need help with their projects.
