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1-Page Summary of Getting Past No

Overview

You can’t always get what you want. However, if you’re willing to negotiate, most of the time you’ll get what you want. In Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations (1991) by William Ury there’s advice from a master negotiator about how to keep your cool during difficult negotiations and still achieve your goals. In today’s world we need negotiation skills for personal disputes, work conflicts and business deals.

Negotiation is a common way of getting things done. Most people believe that negotiation means competing to get the most out of each other, or even fighting over an issue until one party wins and the other loses. However, good negotiators know that this isn’t true at all. Instead, they’re able to work together in order to solve problems and reach agreements where both parties are satisfied with the outcome. Negotiation is really just a conversation between two people who want to come to an agreement about something but may disagree on certain points along the way. The conversation continues back and forth until everyone agrees on what should be done or decides that it’s not possible for them to agree after all; either way, there will be consequences as a result of their decision.

Before you start negotiating, it’s helpful to think about whether this is really necessary or if there are other ways of solving the problem. Sometimes, a solution that is less time-consuming and costly will be better than going through the negotiation process. When negotiations must be undertaken, it’s helpful to analyze your desired outcome on three levels: in terms of what would be ideal, what would work as an acceptable compromise between both parties (the “bearable” level), and what you’d accept as the lowest common denominator (the “bare minimum”).

Negotiating is an essential skill for today’s business leaders. However, people often make mistakes when negotiating because they focus on differences rather than areas of agreement. This can lead to a combative attitude that undermines the goals of fruitful negotiation.

In business negotiations, it’s helpful to start with a discussion about interests. The next step is exploring options for resolution and determining what would be fair. It’s also important to consider industry standards and market values. Finally, you can decide which option works best for both sides

In the real world, there are many factors that make negotiations difficult. There’s a lack of time, bad attitudes, power plays and stubborn positions. Good negotiators know how to get rid of these obstacles one by one. Throughout the negotiation process it’s important to project a sense of calm and objectivity in order to soothe frayed nerves on the other side as well as assess what is next logical step for both parties involved in this particular situation.

The report is based on the revised edition of the book, which was published in 2007.

Key Point 1: Negotiations should be collaborative, not confrontational.

Negotiation is not a zero-sum game. However, many people view the process as an adversarial battle, rather than a collaborative effort in which both sides win. The best possible approach for both parties is to work together toward a mutually satisfactory solution, instead of each side retreating into entrenched positions.

Most people think of negotiation as a contest where the person who asserts his/her will more forcefully wins. However, effective negotiators know how to use light touch and manipulation to work around their opponent’s concerns. Good negotiators set the terms of conversation rather than react or respond to what others say.