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1-Page Summary of Battle Hymn Of The Tiger Mother

Overview

If you’re a good parent, you know that your child needs all the support and love you can give them. However, author Amy Chua thinks otherwise. She believes that her children need to be pushed harder than anyone else in order for them to succeed.

The author discusses the pros and cons of an authoritarian Chinese style of raising children. He also explains how being a Tiger Mom worked out for Amy Chua.

You’ll also learn why Chinese parents don’t care about their children’s self-esteem; how they don’t let them fail and how that builds resilience; and why “fatty, lose some weight” is an okay thing to say.

Big Idea #1: Chinese and Western parental mind-sets differ greatly.

If you’re a parent, your goal is to make sure your child has the best possible life. However, Chinese and Western parents have different views of what “best” means. Here are three primary differences:

Western parents want their children to have high self-esteem, but they’re not as concerned about building self-esteem. They believe that westerners are more susceptible to being hurt by life’s challenges than Chinese people. Western parents often try to be understanding of a child’s feelings when the child doesn’t do well in school and might even avoid telling them what needs improvement. In contrast, Chinese parents respond quickly and directly if their kids don’t perform well at school or fail an exam.

Second, Chinese parents believe that their children owe them everything. This likely stems from the fact that they work hard to ensure their kids get a good education and respect their elders in China. The Chinese perspective is therefore that the children should spend their lives paying back their parents by making them proud. Western parents think otherwise. They believe it’s not up to them to take care of the child; instead, it’s up to them whether or not they become a parent at all.

Parents in China feel that they know what’s best for their children.

In Western cultures, parents usually ask their children what they want to do. However, in Chinese culture, it’s better for the child’s parent to tell them how they should spend their time.

This means that Chinese children are not allowed to be in plays because their parents believe it’s better for them to only participate in activities where they can win a medal.

Big Idea #2: Chinese parents don’t let their children give up so easily, and work hard to prepare them for the future.

When parents find out that their child is not very good at something, they will often acknowledge it and then do everything in their power to make sure the child becomes good at it. Western parents will simply accept a weakness as such; Chinese parents, however, see weaknesses as opportunities for improvement.

The Chinese believe that there’s nothing better than improving what you’re not good at.

Parents in the West try to avoid hurting their children’s self-esteem by making sure they don’t lose at games and other situations. Chinese parents, on the other hand, teach their children how to persevere through challenges.

If you want your children to be successful, make sure they believe in themselves. If a child learns something difficult but fails at first, don’t let them give up. Instead, encourage them to keep trying until they succeed. In the end, even if it takes some time and effort, that child will feel good about his or her accomplishment and may try again with other things he or she has learned because of their success with this one thing.

In Western culture, it’s typical to encourage children to pursue what they love. However, Chinese parents believe in preparing their kids for the future by giving them skills that will help them succeed.