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1-Page Summary of Ask For It
Overview
Let’s say you want to sell a used car. You should list it at $14,500 and then someone offers $12,000 for the car. Don’t be too quick to drop your price; instead, offer them $14,000 because that indicates that your reservation value is between $13,500 and $14,500. That will make them come up with a better offer if they’re interested in the car.
In most cases, when a woman is said to be asking for it, it’s not a nice insinuation. Furthermore, these key points will show you that asking for it is all about taking control of your life and going after what you deserve. The article will also guide you through the process of negotiation and tackle some common issues women face in their relationships with men over pet animals.
Negotiation skills are useful in many situations, and they can lead to better relationships. The Closer TV show has a lot of information about negotiating salaries, as well as differences between male and female perspectives on the world. It also talks about BATNAs (Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement), which is something that everyone should know.
Big Idea #1: To find out what you want in life, ask yourself what’s missing.
As children, we were often asked what we wanted to do when we grew up. Even as adults, people still ask us that question.
Unfortunately, most people don’t know what they really want. However, it’s especially hard for women to figure out their true desires and ambitions because society has been telling them what they should want instead of encouraging them to follow their personal wishes.
For example, Vanessa was unsure of what to do after college. Both her mother and sister were teachers, so she thought it’d be fitting if she followed in their footsteps. However, once she began the job, she found that it wasn’t for her.
Vanessa needed a change and wanted to work outdoors, so she closed her eyes and imagined what she wanted. She saw herself working in a garden, which inspired her to start her own landscaping company.
To figure out what you want, ask yourself what’s missing in your life. For example, if you have a job and family but still feel unfulfilled, try to remember activities that used to bring you joy as a child. If they were creative ones like drawing or painting, then it means creativity is something that’s missing from your life; so take up classes in those areas.
After you figure out what you want in life, the next step is to learn that you can control your own destiny. Here’s how to do it…
Big Idea #2: Many women feel they have no control over their lives, which makes them less likely to ask for raises.
Imagine yourself in a fancy hotel room. Everything you need is there except for a bathrobe. Would you be okay with that? Most women would, but they might want the robe if it were available. Why do most women think this way?
Studies in the 1980s and 1990s revealed that women are more likely to believe that life is controlling them instead of the other way around. Furthermore, they often dealt with whatever situation arose without complaint and believed they had no real influence on the outcome.
Men view the world as a place where they can freely take advantage of opportunities. A study conducted in the United States and other countries proved that men think this way.
The difference between the mindsets of women and men is a global trend. This has resulted in fewer women asking for raises than men.
Psychologist Lisa Barron studied the difference in mind-set between men and women. She found that both male and female participants agreed with the following sentence: “I decide what my value is at work, and I am responsible for ensuring that my employer pays me appropriately.”