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1-Page Summary of Mastering Civility

The Growing Loss of Workplace “Civility”

Imagine this scenario: An entertainment company decides to lay off employees. The vice president breaks the news to a loyal employee, but the general manager works nearby with his feet propped on the table and ignores what’s going on. This makes people feel slighted, ignored and disrespected.

Rudeness is a problem in today’s society. In the “Civility in America 2016” survey, 95% of respondents said rudeness was a major problem. People are rude to others because they’re tired or stressed out and don’t realize how their actions affect other people. When someone feels hurt by an unintentional action, it doesn’t matter if that behavior wasn’t deliberate; the person will still feel hurt.

Incivility has increased since 1998 due to global issues. People are more likely to be rude when they come from different cultures, because what is seen as acceptable in one culture may not be perceived that way in another. Remote work and other arrangements put pressure on office relationships, which can cause people to lash out at each other. Increased workloads also cause stress and make people feel overwhelmed, causing them to act aggressively toward others. Some employees mimic their leaders’ behavior, which causes them to behave the same way as well. Miscommunication occurs through text messages or email because it lacks the nuance of face-to-face or phone interactions.

Incivility Carries Heavy Costs, But Civility Pays Big Dividends

In our fast-paced, stressful lives, it’s easy to become rude and hurt others’ feelings. This can cause stress in the individual that leads to health problems and more instances of rudeness. Stress also makes people perform worse at work. They have trouble concentrating, making decisions or processing information. Even a single instance of rudeness can affect their performance for some time after the incident takes place.

Relationship problems at work have significant costs for employers. They take up a lot of time and effort that could be used to solve other issues and deal with the consequences of those relationship problems. When people are rude to each other, it can cause them not to share information or give each other feedback, which can lead to those employees being less productive in their jobs.

Civility Pays Off

It’s important to be polite. It shows respect and appreciation, which helps people feel good about themselves. A smile or a compliment makes someone feel valued. When bosses are warm and friendly with their employees, the relationship is stronger and they work harder for them because of it.

Civility is important in the workplace. It increases productivity and makes people more comfortable with each other, which leads to better collaboration and risk-taking. When someone is civil, others are more likely to be civil as well. Incivility spreads rapidly throughout a company or organization because people tend to treat each other the way they’re treated. If you’re rude to someone, he or she will probably respond by being rude back at you. To break this cycle of rudeness, reinforce civility by saying something positive or polite after an incident of incivility occurs.

A Kinder, Gentler You

How civil are you? Examine yourself about a range of behaviors, from positive, such as saying please and thank you, to negative, such as texting or using email during meetings.

Seven Strategies for Civility Feedback

Once you’ve done the self-assessment, ask others to help you improve. Ask 10 to 15 people who know you well for examples of your best and worst behaviors, as well as areas where there’s room for improvement.