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1-Page Summary of Care to Dare
“Secure Base Leadership”
Leaders who are able to provide a secure base for their employees will be more successful. They do this by balancing safety and risk. With caring, they give comfort and security, while with daring, they inspire exploration and challenge.’
Leaders who don’t connect emotionally with their followers can get burned out, depressed and isolated. Leaders should not be afraid of making mistakes or encouraging people to change. When they feel threatened by others, they shut down and resist change because they’re trying to protect themselves from being taken hostage by superiors, customers or staff members. A leader with a secure base can refocus on the positive aspects of life and move forward in spite of pain and loss.
“Secure base” is a term derived from the work of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, who researched “attachment theory”. They found that people seek comfort and closeness in those who protect them. To be a secure base for someone, you must have your own secure base. That can be an object or person; most often it’s another person.
Secure Base Leaders
High-performing organizations have secure base leaders who inspire their workforce. Leaders that fail lack self-awareness, focus on goals over relationships and can’t control their emotions. Each secure base leader is unique, but all share important characteristics: * “They remain calm” – Stay cool in dangerous situations by being aware of your moods and practicing mindfulness techniques such as meditation or deep breathing.
It is important to respect other people and their potential. When problems arise, focus on the issues instead of blaming or criticizing the worker. Be the first to see a staffer’s long-term potential.
Great leaders listen to others, ask questions and deliver powerful messages. They focus on the positive, admire their people but test them and give constructive criticism. They encourage others to take risks by stretching themselves and caring about those around them.
They are accessible, which means that they can be reached easily. They can also be emotionally available to their audience even if they cannot physically attend the event.
Building a Bond
According to the Reina Trust Building Institute, trust is rare between employees and executives. Roughly half of all managers do not trust their leaders. Secure base leaders build trust by bonding with their employees. Bonding at work means forming an attachment that creates more energy than people could generate independently.
The best leaders are secure base leaders who accept their employees as human, and see their potential. They get to know them personally and want to hire motivated people with bright futures.
“The Grief Curve”
People can sometimes grieve when bonds break, a loss occurs or a “familiar pattern of behavior” changes. Many people may not realize they’re grieving at work because of the death of someone close to them or because their company has been sold. It’s important to remember that grief is natural and healthy in these situations but it should eventually subside as we adjust to our new environment.
Grief is a natural reaction to change. Research modeled on the work of Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, who developed the Five Stages of Grief, shows that people experiencing loss travel emotionally through a grief curve. It starts with denial and anger, moves through fear and panic, and ends with forgiveness and gratitude. People may progress through these stages in any order or experience different emotions simultaneously as they move along this curve toward acceptance. If you have bonds with someone who departs due to workplace changes, you might pass through all four stages more than once.
