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1-Page Summary of The Yes Brain
Overview
Philip Larkin, a British poet who had a gloomy view of life wrote that “man hands on misery to man.” The thought has been around for quite some time. We become like our parents because the apple never falls far from the tree.
Psychologists are more optimistic than poets and folk wisdom. They have the latest scientific data, which is good news for our brains.
Experts call it neuroplasticity. Translated, that means we can change ourselves for the better by developing new habits and practicing them over time. We can guide our children to develop good traits so they’ll be successful in life.
That’s according to the bestselling book “The Yes Brain” by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson.
A thoughtful and practical guide to mindful parenting, this book is packed full of useful facts and strategies for both the parent and child. It highlights four key traits: balance, resilience, insight, and empathy. This will help you develop an open-minded outlook that says yes to the world rather than saying no or avoiding it.
The following are some techniques you can use to teach your child how to deal with their emotions and remain calm. You can do this by looking at situations from someone else’s point of view, as well as being aware that we’re all born selfish but don’t have to stay that way.
Big Idea #1: The Yes Brain is a mindset that helps you and your children become more open, creative and resilient.
Close your eyes and tell yourself “no” for 30 seconds. How do you feel? It probably makes you tense and unmotivated. But if you say “yes”, that’s a much better feeling, right?
Because of the calming and relaxing effect, people want to be open-minded. They usually want what’s best for themselves as well as their children.
The Yes Brain is basically a way of being in the world that makes you receptive to challenges and helps you live meaningfully. When you’re receptive, you’re flexible and capable of thinking clearly.
When we’re in a state of No Brain, it’s hard to connect with others and reach good decisions.
When you think about it, the Yes Brain is clearly better than the No Brain. To do that, we can develop a positive attitude.
It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day grind of parenting. However, it’s important to remember that being a good parent means having a “Yes Brain.” This is characterized by balance, resilience, insight and empathy. Here are some strategies for developing these characteristics as an adult parent.
Children are also influenced by their parents’ No Brain or Yes Brain characteristics. Parents can help children develop a wider window of tolerance for things that happen in life. For example, Alex’s son Teddy would get upset when he didn’t score during soccer games. A parent could react with a No Brain approach and shame the child, but this wouldn’t be effective in helping the child learn to cope with disappointment. The authors recommend using a Yes Brain approach instead to help build up the child’s ability to deal with frustrations and disappointments.
Teddy learned to breathe deeply. Alex learned how to empathize with his son and comfort him when he was upset. Teddy calmed down enough to listen and understand what he had done wrong.
Big Idea #2: The Yes Brain is more than a mindset – it also promotes brain integration and development.
Most people believe that your personality is set in stone by the time you’re a teenager. Some people think that environmental factors are important, but they don’t trump genetics. If you’re an unsympathetic child, then you’ll be an unsympathetic adult.
