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1-Page Summary of Final Gifts
Overall Summary
Final Gifts is a book about the psychology of death by hospice nurses. They have decades of experience caring for people who are dying, and they want to help others understand what it’s like to be in that situation. It’s important for everyone to understand this period because so many people die every day, and it can be hard on their families if no one understands the process. The authors call this distinct period “Nearing Death Awareness.” This means that terminally ill patients go through an emotional transformation as they get closer to death—they start thinking more about life than about death, which isn’t healthy at first but becomes healthier later on.
Callanan and Kelley define Nearing Death Awareness as the awareness of one’s own impending death. They note that terminally ill patients often become reflective in their final weeks or days, focusing on metaphysical questions instead of bodily evidence. They believe that Nearing Death Awareness is similar to Near Death Experiences, or NDEs.
Callanan and Kelley identify four main behaviors that occur in those who are dying. Not everyone exhibits all of these behaviors, but many do. The first is a preparation for a journey, even if the patient cannot physically move anymore. The second is seeing beings that have no ordinary physical form. In the third, patients perceive a destination outside of ordinary time and space. Finally, they exhibit knowledge about their date and time of death. Callanan and Kelley claim to have observed these four behaviors in people from different races, cultures, genders, social backgrounds and religions
Callanan and Kelley also look back on their experience in the healthcare field, managing the dying process. They argue that both birth and death are essential to life cycles, and should be seen as a positive part of life. They validate unique feelings about death, which are not captured in medical literature because they’re difficult to analyze scientifically.
The last part of Final Gifts focuses on the regrets that people have when they realize they’re going to die. Many of these are related to not completing a task, such as leaving an important message or dream unfulfilled. Callanan and Kelley urge their readers to help dying patients finish any unfinished business so that they can die peacefully. They demonstrate how this is possible by providing some tools for communicating with the dying, showing them how it’s possible to alleviate much of their emotional suffering by helping them overcome any obstacles in their way.
Final Gifts describes a new way of thinking about death. Rather than rely on medical definitions of death and dying, Callanan and Kelley’s Near Death Awareness allows people to look at the human experience from a philosophical perspective. The authors believe that healthcare professionals are in charge of this process, rather than auxiliary staff.
