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1-Page Summary of Moxie
You’ve Got “Moxie”
Moxie is a word that’s been around for over 100 years. It originally referred to a nerve tonic, but it was later used as the name of a soft drink and then eventually became synonymous with courage, know-how, pep and energy. If you have moxie inside you—that is, if you can project your competence and confidence—you’ll be able to cultivate or amplify it through your daily choices. Tapping into your moxie will help other people around you evolve and grow as well.
Alexia Vernon realized that she was living her life based on the values of a male-dominated society. She needed to find herself and live according to what she believed in, rather than trying to fit into an authoritative role. By blending masculine and feminine approaches, Alexia found success in speaking up about her beliefs and passions.
You as a Communicator
Imagine a third-grader, decked out with braces, about to make her first presentation. She’s nervous and starts crying because she thinks that everyone is laughing at her speech. That experience left the girl feeling like she was bad at public speaking for many years. However, after identifying the underlying story and letting go of it, she became more confident as a speaker.
Stepping into your moxie is a lifelong practice. It happens when you have self-talk that supports who you are, not what you aren’t. You learn to project yourself confidently by letting go of the constant inner voice worrying about how well you’re doing and remembering pivotal moments in your life that stick with you.
“Critic, Cop, Cheerleader and Coach”
The way you talk to yourself affects how you see yourself and share your voice. Most people have three or four voices in their heads, with at least one vying for attention at any time. None of those voices is the real you, but they all affect your thoughts, feelings and behavior. Meet your voices: 1) The Critic is a mean voice – she makes you feel like an imposter; 2) The Cop polices your decisions – he tells you that everything has only two options; 3) The Cheerleader is positive and urges you on – she’s helpful occasionally but can be a “frenemy” who encourages situations that are not productive for you.
- The Coach helps you think about your inner voice and how to improve it. For example, the Coach might ask the Critic to give an example of when you’ve been resilient or might tell the Cheerleader to remove something from your to-do list. This is a great way for you communicate more effectively with yourself.
“Bunny, Dragon” or “Cheetah”?
Bunnies are soft and cute. They represent women who don’t speak up for themselves or focus on pleasing other people. Vernon realized she had a case of “bunnyitis” when she didn’t contact the literary agent about her book. Bunnies tend to apologize, literally or metaphorically, and overexplain their ideas. Their communications aren’t compelling; they don’t issue calls to action. The bunny leaves the impression that she doesn’t think she’s worth the salary she requests.
Dragons breathe fire and live at the other end of the feminine power spectrum. This identity is focused on herself, not her partner or conversation. She doesn’t ask for help or feedback from others. Both identities come from a place where women are expected to act a certain way because society says so.
Cheetahs are fast, flexible and opportunistic. They rest where they can see their surroundings clearly and stay rested. Cheetah-like women take into account the agent and deal when writing a book proposal. Flexible women ask for what they want from people by establishing eye contact with them, use body language to position themselves in the ideal spotlight and turn opportunities as they arise into material progress toward big goals.
