The Defining Decade Book Summary, by Meg Jay

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1-Page Summary of The Defining Decade

Overview

Today, in many ways, the twenties can feel like a continuation of adolescence. People are not expected to have already decided on their career or partner and they’re certainly not expected to have children yet. This lack of expectations allows people in their twenties to drift through the decade without commitment. It all feels like a rehearsal for adulthood.

But then, as they approach 30, many people start worrying about their future. Meg Jay says that the twenties are actually crucial to our success and happiness in life. She argues that these years should not be considered inconsequential but rather a defining decade of your life where you can make positive changes for your future success and happiness.

In this book, you will discover why living together is not a good test for marriage and can increase the chances of divorce. You’ll also learn how taking on an unusual job when you’re young can influence your entire career. Additionally, it explains that twentysomethings should be happy with their limited options because there’s more opportunity later in life. Finally, you will learn why putting off having children until your 30s often leads to trouble.

Big Idea #1: The jobs we have in our twentysomething years help us to earn personal assets and individual resources.

Even if you’ve been working for a long time, it’s unlikely that you’ll have the job of your dreams by the time you’re in your 20s.

Imagine you’re faced with the choice of working in a coffee shop or taking a more unusual job, like translating comic books. Which would you choose? If you chose the comic-book translator job, then that’s great because it demonstrates your identity capital – your collection of personal assets – which matters to prospective employers.

Of course, conventional things like degrees and jobs have their place in identity capital. Additionally, people are interested in more personal qualities such as speech ability and problem-solving skills. We can gain that through exposure to new opportunities and experiences. It’s also important to take a job that could lead to better ones by showcasing your unique experience not just formal qualifications.

So when you’re trying to decide which short-term job to take, choose one that can build your identity capital. But you have to also consider the long term effects of taking a low paying job for a long time. For example, working as a dog walker after getting your PhD might lead to depression and future employers may view it negatively as well.

It’s been shown that people who are underemployed for a short amount of time tend to be more depressed and less motivated than those who aren’t. In fact, accepting underemployment can lead you to abandon your goals and make you feel unworthy of better employment.

However, from an employer’s perspective, being unemployed is just as bad as underemployed because they assume that the person will be depressed and drink heavily.

Big Idea #2: The jobs we do in our twentysomething years influence our long-term wage growth.

Who feels ready for a serious career at the age of 20?

Most people in their twenties aren’t prepared for the future. They should, however, start working toward it as soon as possible. If they don’t, they will be left behind because of wage growth and a plateauing salary in their 40s. This can lead to midlife crises or feeling excluded when you’re older.

On the other hand, older people tend to have families and mortgages. Those things slow down salary increases.

As we age, it becomes more difficult to change our lives. In our 30s and 40s, getting a new degree or moving to another country for better job opportunities is more complicated because of the responsibilities that come with mortgage payments. It’s also hard to move your children from one country and school to another.

The Defining Decade Book Summary, by Meg Jay