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1-Page Summary of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Overview

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck is a self-help book that argues people should care less about things in life that don’t really matter, such as material possessions or other people’s opinions. The author draws on his personal experience to define what doesn’t matter and why it shouldn’t be given any attention.

According to self-help books, we should maintain a positive attitude. However, if people only focus on the bright side of things, they might not see reality and make more problems for themselves. They need to embrace their flaws and hardships in order to deal with them better instead of ignoring them.

People should be open to pain and difficulty, because it doesn’t help to deny these things or think you’re entitled to happiness. Self-reflection will help people figure out what’s most important for them, so that they can make better choices in life. When you truly understand your values and don’t care about anything else, then nothing can shake your self-worth.

Although it may seem like a paradox, accepting that things are going to change can help people live more in the moment and be selective about what they care about.

Key Takeaways

People should stop trying to be perfect and always happy. Instead, they should learn to embrace the pain that comes with life in order to find happiness. People can find happiness by solving their problems instead of ignoring them. People who feel entitled will never be truly happy because they’re living in a fantasy world. People need to focus on what’s important and let go of everything else, including the things they have no control over. People shouldn’t blame others for problems that aren’t their fault; rather, people should take responsibility for those problems and try harder if it’s within their power to do so. Finally, people must cultivate a sense of curiosity about themselves and the world around them instead of assuming that their feelings are correct without question or investigation into why those feelings exist in the first place.

Failure can be a Valuable Experience.

Healthy relationships are based in honesty, understanding, kindness and the fact that every person is going to die someday.

Key Takeaway 1: People should stop trying so hard to be perfect, accomplished, and happy.

When people are fixated on external markers of success, they tend to be unhappy because this focus only reminds them of what they don’t have. However, if people are truly thriving, they don’t need to recite affirmations that they’re happy and worthy. For some people, it’s difficult or unnatural to halt a pattern of seeking external success. Writer Suzanne Guillette had been struggling with a book project because she was trying to force herself into creating something for the sake of being productive instead of doing something that made her feel inspired and excited about writing. When she realized her book wasn’t going well at all, she decided not to try so hard anymore; instead, she focused on activities that made her feel good (exercising and eating healthy). A few months later, she had an epiphany about how best to write her book; then one day in the shower while thinking about the idea for her novel,she started writing without stopping until nine months later when she’d finished a first draft. She realized how important it is not put pressure on oneself by giving up expectations. The next time someone finds him/herself stuck creatively, he/she should look back on this experience and realize how freeing it feels not having any expectations. He/she should also adopt “Fuck It!” as his /her life motto.