![The Art Of Loving Book Summary, by Erich Fromm The Art Of Loving Book Summary, by Erich Fromm](https://www.allencheng.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/112-the-art-of-loving.jpg)
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1-Page Summary of The Art Of Loving
Overview
Love can be difficult, but it’s not mysterious. It’s just a skill that needs to be developed in the same way as cooking or playing the violin.
The Art of Loving is a psychoanalyst’s reflection on the different types of love and how they’re cultivated, given, and received. He claims that there are many forms of love but we’re not willing to put in the work necessary to develop our capacity for it. However, with concerted effort anyone can learn how to cultivate their capacity for love properly.
Many people think that love just happens to them. They believe they fall in love without any effort on their part. However, this is not true. Love requires work and dedication to be successful. It’s a skill that many people don’t know how to use correctly because our culture doesn’t teach us how to do it right.
People make a common mistake of thinking that love must be earned. They worry about how lovable they are, whether or not someone will like them, and what their partner can do for them. Instead, people should focus on loving others unconditionally and not worry about what they have to offer in return.
People have great expectations when they fall in love. However, if the focus is on the relationship rather than loving itself, the relationship will be flawed and unfulfilling. In order to truly love someone, one must put in a lot of hard work into it. However, that is worth it because true love provides infinite rewards.
Key Point 1: The art of love must be learned and practiced.
Love is not a natural occurrence; instead, it’s something that must be learned and practiced. It’s a craft like playing an instrument or painting. Love also shares some similarities with sciences that people refer to as arts, such as medicine and engineering.
Learning the art of love can be conceptualized as a two-part process involving theory and practice. In the first part, you learn about love from books and other sources, just like doctors learn about their bodies in medical school. The second step is to apply what you’ve learned by practicing it over time. After many years of practice, your theoretical knowledge will enhance your practical skills so that you’re able to master the art of love.
To learn the art of loving is a time-consuming and difficult process. It requires you to put in effort and be thoughtful about it. This is not something that a person can do if they’re trying to focus on other things, such as success or money. If people focused more on loving than those other goals, their lives would be better off.
Key Point 2: Human existence is fundamentally lonely.
Love is a very powerful emotion, and it helps address the problem of being human. People feel isolated and alone in this world, but love can help them overcome that feeling. It’s especially important for children to be loved by their parents or guardians, because they’re not really sure what will happen next as they grow up.
Humans are unique in that they’re self-aware. They experience loneliness and uncertainty, which other animals don’t feel. Humans also used to be more connected with nature, but now they’ve become increasingly alienated from it.
The best way to overcome loneliness and anxiety is through love. People seek connections with others to make the uncertainty of the future more bearable. Love can be found in platonic, familial, or romantic relationships.
Key Point 3: People in Western societies feel driven to conform out of fear of loneliness.
In the Western world, people often use conformity to feel a sense of belonging. People have an urge to fit in with their peers and are afraid of being alone. They try to conform by dressing like other people, going along with popular ideas, and following cultural customs. The majority of the population doesn’t realize that they’re doing this because they don’t know why they do it in the first place; these behaviors seem natural to them.