The Anatomy Of Peace Book Summary, by The Arbinger Institute

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1-Page Summary of The Anatomy Of Peace

Overview

Sometimes we don’t help people because we think it would be rude or embarrassing. But that’s just another way of thinking they’re inferior and not worthy of our help. Once you see others as human beings, you’ll be more willing to help them out, and maybe even change their lives for the better.

Life would be easier if people didn’t make things so difficult. Most people have been in a situation where they were being blamed for something that wasn’t their fault.

The truth is, it’s hard to hold a grudge against someone who isn’t playing the game. So if you’re in conflict with someone, you’re at least partially responsible for that. However, how can you pinpoint where your responsibility begins? And how can you remove yourself from conflict? These are questions we’ll explore by breaking down several key points about conflict and its resolution.

Even if you try to help someone overcome a drug habit, the person will still resist it. This is because your mindset affects how you interact with that person. To change their perspective, you need to change your own.

In this article, you will learn how Saladin won a war with his peaceful heart. You’ll also discover what it means to be in an “I deserve box” and why that’s bad for you. Furthermore, the author explains why your partner never does what you tell him or her to do.

Big Idea #1: There are two ways to view those around you. One is with war in your heart, and the other is with peace in your heart.

Let’s imagine that you were raised to hate left-handed people because two thousand years ago, a group of left-handed people attacked your family.

One day, you see a man carrying a bag of left-handed products. As he’s crossing the street, he trips and falls. His stuff falls out of his bag onto the ground. What do you do?

There are two main options: you can have a peaceful heart or a warlike heart.

If you see people as inferior, or less than human, then you will not help them.

Your inner voice may tell you not to help him because of what your parents taught you, but that’s a flawed way of thinking. You should see him as an individual and help him accordingly.

In times of war, it’s difficult to feel compassion and help others. This is the mindset that creates hate, conflict and war.

It’s better to have peace of mind and see others as human beings.

Even if you are forced to go to war, you can still treat your opponents with respect. Saladin did this by showing mercy after the Crusaders massacred people in Jerusalem.

Saladin eventually won back the city from the Christians, but he did not slaughter innocent people as they had done to his people. He forbade his men from harming them and even allowed Christian pilgrims to visit Jerusalem in later years.

This is what a heart of peace looks like: you treat others as human beings, with their own fears and desires.

If you treat others the way they want to be treated, then they are more likely to do the same for you.

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Big Idea #2: We can help conflicts end by accepting other people’s perspectives.

It’s not fun to argue with your spouse, children or coworkers. However, we often start and restart these arguments by engaging in the same behaviors that we don’t like.

When we have a war-like mentality, we see others as enemies. We go around thinking that others are trying to cheat us or work against us – a mindset that leads to conflict.

It’s a vicious cycle. We think we’re right, and our friends agree with us. So, we attract more people who are like-minded. This only reinforces our belief that we’re right and they’re wrong.

The Anatomy Of Peace Book Summary, by The Arbinger Institute